( let's talk )
one of the most beautiful women in my life lost her husband last year to mental illness. my friend and colleague melanie, who has been shooting weddings with me for the past 6 years has lost the love of her life. melanie's beautiful glenn died last year and we grieve his absence everyday. he left behind his gorgeous, tender, loving, thoughtful amazing wife and his beautiful son, Colton... he never met.
glenn was a quiet, warm, kind, and loving person. when i learned of his death, all i saw was his beautiful smiling face... he made an impression on you. his radiant yet soft smile was the kind you carried around.
glenn suffered from depression. he experienced two episodes of psychosis (the second episode is when he took his life). during his psychotic episodes he experienced persecutory delusions (in short he was convinced that everyone thought he was a terrible person). in his state of psychosis he believed melanie would be better off withought him... and this, of course, couldn't be farther from the truth. glenn was treated with counselling and medication after his first episode of psychosis. he was, melanie told me, 99% the glenn she had always known. we don't know what happened on the night he took his life. had the medication stopped working? mental illness is a great mystery. and the treatment for it more an art than a science, i am told. each person is treated individually.
melanie & glenn were the kind of couple who spent all of their time together. best friends for over 12 years. they loved each other more than most of us are capable of loving another.
i am angry and upset and frustrated by glenn's death. i miss him for melanie and for his son who will never know his own father. i want to know more, to understand what i and we can do to help those who suffer from mental illness. let us speak openly without shame. let us find a way to help each other.
as wedding photographers we often talk about how fortunate we are to capture life's most beautiful moments. what is truly an honour for me is to witness intimately the love you feel for each other, the love your families have for you and you for them. to capture it for you, so that you can see and feel it, even when it's gone. i cry everytime i look at these photographs from melanie & glenn's wedding... because i can feel in the deepest part of me glenn's love for melanie, and the incredible peace she feels in his arms. and knowing that she will never feel his arms wrapped around her again... is unbearable.
but his spirit is alive, in his son. his perfect beautiful baby boy.
today my heart is fully open. love unabashadely. today is the only promise.
Colton Glenn Michael Curley. Born December 23rd 2011.
20 Comments
Reader Comments (20)
Beautiful and touching post.
That is a beautiful and tragic post Rebecca. It's seems a real blessing that Glenn was able to leave a part of himself with Melanie in Colton. Thank you for sharing.
This was a touching post. It brought tears to me.
Beautifully and thoughtfully written, Rebecca.
Thank you to Melanie for allowing you to share these words.
Sending love to her everyday.
This is a beautiful post. He was a good man. And let's keep the conversation rolling so no one else has to go through this as well.
Very touching journal entry Rebecca...beautiful and sad. Thanks for sharing.
My heart goes out to everyone affected by this loss. The images are beautiful, and I'm so glad that Melanie has them to remind her of the love he felt for her.
That must have been so difficult to write Rebecca. What courage Melanie had to share something so personal. I pray sharing her story will help someone else. I know it helped remind me not to take my life and family for granted. My heart is aching for her right now and for little Colton...What a beautiful little boy.
I can't, even for one second, imagine this kind of loss. I don't know you Melanie, but my heart felt pain for you today and I will say a prayer for you to have strength and courage in the days ahead. Sharing your story helps bring awareness to the reality of mental illness, my cousin took his life in a very dramatic episode a couple of years ago. I'm so sorry that this is the story you are sharing, but thank you for allowing us to witness your miracle (Colton) and may he be a blessing to your every breath.
i want to thank each one of who left your thoughts here over the past day. i know it means a lot for melanie to have the support, to know that we are not afraid to talk about this. your comments are received with gratitude. love and blessings, rebecca
You are as gifted with words as with camera Rebecca. This is a lovely tribute. Thank You for sharing your thoughts and for helping spread the word. You are a good friend.
Love you Melanie XO Love you Glenn XO Love you Colton XO
Wow.
I cannot even begin to imagine how hard this must be for everyone. It takes a huge amount of courage to be able to speak openly about this, and your post completely caught me off guard. The image of Colton and his dad - beautiful yet so sad. Life is so damn complicated sometimes!
Beautiful words, beautiful images.
Andreas
Thank you for sharing such lovely words. That was beautiful, it made me cry. My heart aches. At Melanie and Glens wedding I remember Glens speach to her. it was so beautiful. He loved her so much and vise versa. I remember saying to my sister, 'I hope that we can find that one day". Glen, Melanie and Colton will be in my heart forever.
This story is heartbreaking. I was reduced to tears trying to recount it to the love of my life the other night. Just the thought of losing someone so close to you in this way makes all the more poignant the reasons we all need to talk more openly about mental illness. The stigma needs to be lifted.
From someone who's been there, I can tell you first hand how remarkably powerful mental illness can be. Some days it's everything you can do just to get out of bed... And all too often, you feel alienated from the people who love you the most.
A sincere thank you to Melanie for letting this story be told, and to Rebecca for telling it so elegantly. We as a society need to do better. We need to learn how best we can help those who are suffering silently... and too show more compassion and kindness to EVERY ONE we meet throughout our day... After all, you never know what will make the difference in someone's future.
That was beautiful, as was their special relationship. We loved Glenn like a son. Melanie and Colton are always in our
thoughts and prayers. Thankyou for the beautiful memories.
Well said Dee
Rebecca, your beautiful words for Melanie, Glenn and their beautiful little miracle is nothing short of breath taking. Such an incredible mentor and friend you have been to Melanie. I am certain she accepts this post with a heavy heart and tremendous gratitude.
xo
Meg
Wow. A beautiful, moving love story. Thank you for sharing.
Colton is a gift of life to be cherished. May he learn all the speacial things about his dad and be proud.
Thank-you for sharing this in such an open and beautiful way. Mental illness NEEDS to be freely discussed as any other illness. It can be a killer. Not a day, not ONE day goes by that it's not a priority and open for discussing in my home and I will talk to strangers in line at stores, and they welcome it. I have children with mental illness as well as immediate family menbers and I myself manage one too.
Thank you for sharing this story. Very beautiful and moving